After choosing a shower date, you will need to form a budget for the event. Whether you are hosting the shower alone or have decided to co-host with others (which is a smart idea) you'll need to form a workable budget. Showers can be anywhere from very expensive (fully catered at a country club with entertainment and live music) to inexpensive (held at the hostesses' home with light refreshments.) Figure out what you had in mind and also consider the tastes of the bride. Then, think about whether or not your ideas will work within your budget. After you form a budget- stick with it. If you are co-hosting the shower with others, be sure that everyone is in agreement with one budget and figure out how much each of you will be responsible for. The entire budget of the shower can either be divided evenly amongst everyone hosting, or certain expenses can be taken care of separately by each of you hosting (i.e. one person pays for the cake and favors while another is responsible for the decorations and music, etc). If there is going to be a main hostess (such as the MOH), she should collect all funds up-front (and at one time) from the others. By doing this, the main hostess won't have the awkward situation of later asking for any money she needs to pay for an item or any balances towards the shower. After the budget has been set and the funds have been collected, no more money should be asked for again- stick to the budget.

Themed showers are growing in popularity today-everything from lingerie-themed events to Hawaiian luaus. Themed showers are fun and interesting, especially since it'll take a bit of your imagination to plan it all. From the invitations, to the decorations and the food-you decide how much or how little you want to incorporate the theme into the event. Talk with the bride (and the groom if it will be a co-ed shower) about the different theme possibilities. They may like one more than the other, or they may have more use for the gifts that come from a Stock-the-Bar shower than they would from a Linen shower. Ask them about the items they really need and/or want, and then try to base your theme around that.

Lasagna recipe- lasagna pan and a cheese grater

Sugar cookie recipe- cookie sheets, cookie cutters and oven mitts

Pizza recipe- pizza pan, pizza cutter and a garlic press

You can reduce the chances of duplicate recipes and gifts by assigning each guest with a different meal category- such as breakfast, lunch, side dish, main course, dessert, appetizer, etc. You can use kitchen gadgets as part of your decorating scheme. Give out kitchen magnets, misc. kitchen gadgets or oven mitts as favors. Add all the recipe cards to a new recipe box for the bride. She will then have a great start to a wonderful recipe collection.

Honeymoon Shower- Base the shower theme around the couple's honeymoon destination. This theme works great for co-ed showers as well. Host a luau for a tropical honeymoon theme. You could give out small baskets of shells or plastic leis for favors. Is the couple going to Paris? Serve up French foods and a variety of wines. Decorate with an Eiffel Tower theme. Wherever the honeymoon may be, decorate according to that destination. Try to mix the theme into the invitations, food, decorations and even the music, if possible.

Kitchen Shower- The name says it all. Gifts can include anything from kitchen towels, unique kitchen gadgets, a toaster, blender, knife set, etc. Let the couple's registry be your guide. If you have a hard time finding invitations to match this theme, you could make them yourself on the computer. Invitations with pictures of kitchen appliances or fruits and vegetables bordered around them would be perfect. Favors and decorations could be the same as those mentioned under the Recipe Shower theme. Take a look at our Shower Game Ideas to find a great game or two to match this theme.

Patio Shower- Another great idea for the co-ed wedding shower. Host a barbeque on the back patio and request that the guests bring gifts fitting for the backyard. Barbeque utensils, outdoor dinnerware, serving trays and tiki torches make great gifts. Some good group gifts could include a new grill or a patio set. Invitations could be made using red and white-checkered napkins (use markers or fabric paint). Your menu could include the essential cookout foods: burgers, hotdogs, potato salad, watermelon, etc.

The shower invitations

It's a good idea to buy the shower invitations after you've figured out a theme-- if you choose to have one. Most likely you'll want to carry the theme into the style of the invitation as well. If the shower is planned to be very informal with only a few close friends and relatives, it's also OK to call and invite the guests over the phone. When calling, be sure to notify them of all the details (theme, gift selections, directions, etc.)

There are several options when it comes to purchasing the invitations. You can either buy pre-printed invitations from your local card store or stationery shop, or you may want to order personalized invitations through a catalog or other stationer. If you don't want to purchase the invitations, you could make them yourself. Whichever route you choose, make sure that you include all the important details of the shower with the invitation. This information should include at least the basics: the guest of honor's name, date and time of the shower, the shower's location, the hostess' name, the type/theme of the shower, and RSVP information, along with a deadline for RSVP's. The guests would appreciate a map to the shower location, and you may also add the couple's registry information along with the invitations as well. Be sure to list details if you want the gifts to coincide with the theme of the shower. Any other information and/or inserts pertaining to the shower should be included as well (i.e. for a recipe shower, be sure to insert a blank recipe card with each invitation.)

Invitations should be mailed out at least 2 weeks prior to the shower. If there will be guests invited from out of town (depending on how far away they live) you should mail their invitations 4-6 weeks before the shower in order to give them enough time to plan for travel.

The key elements of a good shower usually include the following: a warm atmosphere, the surrounding of pleasurable company and, of course, good food. The possible options for the shower menu are limitless. A wedding shower can consist of almost anything-- from a backyard barbeque to a sit-down dinner at a restaurant. As long as the option you are going for fits your budget and the tone of the shower, go for it.

Before deciding, first consider the time of the day that the shower is being held, the amount of guests attending and the theme of the shower (if there is one). For morning or early afternoon showers, think brunch. Luncheons are great for noontime showers, and a mid-afternoon tea with finger foods is perfect for showers between 2-5pm (making sure the shower starts no later than 3 or 3:30pm). Dinner should be served for showers held between 5-7pm, and a dessert shower would be appropriate for late evening showers-around 8pm.

Think about the theme you chose for the shower. You will most likely serve up some foods that go hand-in-hand with the theme (i.e. if the shower is themed around the couple's tropical honeymoon, think about throwing a luau and serve the usual luau fare.) An afternoon tea with finger sandwiches, scones and a variety of teas-- or a luncheon with an array of fresh salads and light pasta dishes-- would be perfect for a lingerie shower or even a linen shower.

When the shower is being held in a banquet room, or if you are having the event catered in your home, be sure to discuss all of the menu options with your caterer or the banquet manager of the restaurant. If you don't already have an idea of what you would like served, their expertise in this area will be quite helpful in assisting you with making a decision. On the other hand, you won't have to worry about what to serve if you are throwing the shower at a restaurant where the guests can decide what they want from a menu-- just don't forget to pick out a cake.

If the shower will be held at your home or another location, and you are not hiring a caterer- don't fret. Even if you are not used to entertaining more than five people at one time, your shower menu-- when planned out in advance-- should not be a problem. You don't have to flip through hundreds of pages in fancy cookbooks or watch cooking shows for weeks beforehand in order to host a wonderful meal. Whether you're a great cook, or an amateur in the kitchen, be sure to plan ahead and shop for your grocery items a couple of days before the shower. Get help from friends and family members with baking and cooking. Cook any foods from the menu that can be prepared in advance the day before the shower, so you won't have to worry about it on the actual shower day. You could also pick up trays of freshly prepared deli meats, cheeses, vegetables, fruits and a wide variety of other finger foods at your local grocery store deli. Fresh rolls and an array of interesting breads are also available in the store's bakery section. This may be your best option if you are really short on time. Chips, cut veggies, dips and pretzel mixes are great for setting around to snack on before the meal. For the main course, you can either serve the food buffet-style (everything is set out on tables or countertops while everyone self-serves) or have a sit-down meal. If you are short on table space, a buffet usually works out well. Be sure to supply your guests with sturdy plates and/or lap trays so they won't be awkwardly trying to balance their food and drink.

Don't forget about the most important menu item of any shower: the cake. If you've decided to eliminate serving any other kind of food, be sure to at least serve the ever-popular shower cake. Trek out to the bakery if you don't wish to venture into baking the cake on your own. Visit several bakeries, as well as the local grocery stores' bakeries, to find the best quality cake for the price that you are willing to pay. This is another area where you will find your choices practically limitless. Cake flavors and fillings are available in a long list of delectable options today. And, whenever possible, sample the cakes. Your guests will remarkably remember a good tasting cake-- or a terrible dry cake for that matter. Don't forget to choose a nice sentiment to have written on the cake.

 Decorations, table presentation and music

Decorating for the shower should be a fun task. Visit several party stores and use your inner creativity when deciding how to dress-up your shower location. Take advantage of any banners, posters, streamers or stick-up decorations that coincide with the theme. If you are having a hard time finding decorations that match the shower theme, buy some poster board (available at most stores) and draw or trace simple sketches that go with the theme. Color and cut out the sketches, then hang them up on the walls. You could also punch small holes through the tops and string them with ribbon to use as a streamer.

Order several flower arrangements from a local florist, or check out the floral department at the grocery store to save you some money. Fill several vases with the fresh blooms for an instant eye-appealing decoration to any room. Add a small vase of flowers in the bathroom along with some lightly scented soaps and/or lotions to give your guests a pampered feeling. Use balloons to add a festive touch to drab entryways or long hallways. Candles with a subtle scent add a pretty aroma and a beautiful glow to any table or mantle top.

Most of the above ideas could also be used to decorate the food, cake and gift tables. Sprinkle confetti around the food platters and center a beautiful blooming floral arrangement to the main buffet table. For sit-down meals, use shorter floral arrangements or candles to create a cozy atmosphere in the dining area. Your local party store should carry a wide variety of paper products to match your theme; tablecloths, cups, plates, napkins, etc. If you are going the formal route, be sure to polish up your silverware and bring out your china. You can use a nice white tablecloth or any other color that matches the shower's theme.

If you are going to serve the meal buffet-style, be sure to place plates and utensils at the start of the buffet. Baskets can be used as a utensil caddy and can be decorated with ribbons or silk flowers to add an additional decorative touch to the food table. Napkins can also be placed with or near the utensils, which will make it easy for your guests to get everything they need in one spot. A pretty punch bowl (which can also be used for ice) can be set up near the buffet table with any other beverages you may be serving.

Use as many available items you have in or around your home to reduce your out-of-pocket expenses. If you have a flower garden, snip a few blooms to put in bud vases (or pretty bottles) and place them in your windowsills. Make use of the serving platters you already own. Cover them with doilies or decorative paper napkins to dress them up instead of buying new ones at the party stores. Little items, or things you may not have considered a big deal, can add up in the long run. Dress-up and use items you already own when possible.

Whether or not you decide to have music playing at the shower is up to you. Soft-playing music in the background is always a nice touch, especially at the beginning of a shower while guests are arriving. The kind of music you play will usually have an affect on your guests as well. Lively music for an outdoor barbeque or luau will keep the upbeat atmosphere of the event. Oldies are good when you have a diverse crowd of all ages, and jazz or classical music might be good if you are throwing a formal sit-down affair. It's up to you to consider what would be appropriate for the kind of shower you are throwing. Also consider the ages of the guests you invited and their musical tastes. A CD with a variety of music is always a good choice as well.

 Shower Games

Nothing is a better icebreaker at a shower than having the guests play a few games. Shower games will usually open up opportunities for great conversation and laughter. And, they will also get your guests into a more comfortable mood. If you're throwing the shower in your home, or any other place where time and space aren't a constraint (such as at a rented banquet room or in a restaurant), a good game or two is usually fun for all. The shower games could stay in keeping with the theme as well.

You may be wondering at what time during the shower should you fit in the games. This is actually up to you. The time it takes to play a game and dole out the prizes depends on the game you are playing and the amount of guests at the shower. If there will be a large amount of people, you may want to keep the games to a minimum. For smaller, more intimate crowds, you may want to play more than even two games. Shower games can be played all at one time, or spaced out during the length of the shower. You could fit a game in at the beginning of the shower when all the guests have arrived, or you can wait until after the meal and play them before the guest of honor opens her gifts-- it's entirely up to you and the shower schedule.

Don't forget to buy prizes for the games. You can award prizes a number of different ways; you choose how this will be done. You don't need to spend a lot of money on the game prizes. The following are a few ideas. Some may even go along great with the chosen theme.

Small picture frame

Candles and/or votive holders

Pretty vase

Photo album

Address book or day planner

Scented lotions and/or soaps

Manicure set

Makeup bag

Small silk jewelry case

Chocolates or other boxed candies

Potholders, oven mitts and/or kitchen towels

Movie tickets

Store gift certificate

Music CD

Book or blank journal

Misc. kitchen gadgets and utensils

Tea or coffee gift sampler

Stationery set

Now, let the games begin! Here are a few shower game ideas to get started.

Spice Mystery- Great for Kitchen or Recipe showers. Pick 8-10 various jars of spices (you can usually pick these up at discount stores for a better price than the grocery store.) Cover the spice labels with masking tape beforehand. Place the jars on a tray and pass the tray around to each guest at the shower, or place the tray in the center of the guests and have them try to figure out what each spice is. They can hold the jars but cannot open them or smell the spice. This game works best when there is a time limit. The prize goes to the guest who writes down the most correct spices. Give the spices to the guest of honor when the game is over.

Guess the Kitchen Gadget- This game is also great for a Kitchen or Recipe shower. Go to your local discount store and buy 7-10 different kitchen gadgets/utensils. Try and get at least 5-6 of the most uncommon and interesting gadgets you can find. Place the gadgets in non-transparent plastic bags beforehand. Pass the bags around for the guests to stick their hands in and feel the object. Don't let the guest feel the object for too long. Have them write down what they think the object in the bag may be. The guest who guesses the most gadgets correctly wins a prize. Give the gadgets to the guest of honor when the game is over.

Word Scramblers- Make a list of 10-12 words associated with love and weddings. Then, scramble the words any way you wish and print out enough of these lists for each of the guests at the shower. (Do this task beforehand.) Have the guests unscramble the words; use a time limit. The guest with the most correctly unscrambled words wins a prize.

Purse Scavenger Hunt- Make a list of miscellaneous items (anything from a tube of lipstick to paperclips, a bottle of aspirin, a small sewing kit, etc.) Give the list to each guest and ask them to search their purses for as many items on the scavenger list as possible. Your list should contain several uncommon purse items in order to make the game a bit harder. The guest who retrieves the most items (or the most unique items from the list) wins a prize.

Toilet Paper Gown Designers- Divide your guests up into teams (the teams should be sized equally if possible.) Have each team pick their "model" and arm the "dress designers" of each team with a roll or two of toilet paper. Each team will be responsible for dressing their "model" with a gown made of toilet paper. The bride may help the hostess judge which team wins a prize on this game. The team who creates the most fascinating gown creation from the toilet paper wins a prize. Make sure you have enough prizes to give out to each person of the winning team.

Shower favors

Shower favors are a great way for the guests to take home a small piece of the special event. Favors should be handed out to each guest as they leave the shower. Below are a few favor ideas. Try and find a favor that will match the shower's theme.

Chocolates/candies/potpourri wrapped and tied in tulle

Wooden spoons filled with small chocolates or candies, then wrapped and tied in tulle.

Refrigerator magnets

Misc. kitchen utensils/gadgets

Small pots of flowers or green plants

Small baskets or bags filled with bath beads or scented soaps

Lipstick cases

Mini plastic champagne glasses filled with candies, then wrapped and tied with tulle and ribbon

Small trinket boxes

2-3 packets of flower seeds tied together with ribbon

Chocolate foil-covered roses

Variety of flavored teas in a decorative bag or mini tea cup

Mini bottles of wine or champagne

Small picture frames

Mini photo albums or address books

Small scented candles with ribbon tied around them

Christmas ornaments (if the shower is near this holiday)

Anything pertaining to any holidays which fall near the shower date (if any)

Plastic leis

Small baskets of shells

Time for opening gifts

Everyone's favorite moment of the shower is when the guest of honor opens her gifts. Be sure to have a large table or two set up and reserved for the shower gifts. This pile of gifts alone will make quite an eye-catching decoration-piece at the shower. Be sure to tape any cards to its matching package if the guest has not already done so. This will ensure that the bride will know whom to acknowledge as she opens each gift.

As the guests awe over all the new loot the bride is receiving, someone (preferably one of the hostesses) should be sitting next to the bride and keeping track of each gift she opens, as well as the giver of each gift. Be sure to write down every item the gift package contains. This will make life easier on the bride when she goes to write out thank you notes later for all her shower gifts. Use a notebook or memo pad for keeping the gift list on. You may also want to ask the bride if she has a wedding memory book she's been using over the past couple of months. There's usually a section in the book reserved for keeping track of wedding and shower gifts the bride receives. This kind of memory/scrap book may be a good gift for the bride if she does not already have one.

The bride should be centered comfortably in a chair (not on the floor!) amongst her guests while she opens her gifts, so that everyone can enjoy watching her. Make sure that she has enough room around her for opening larger gifts, and have either an open space or an empty table near for putting the opened gifts on. The wrapping paper will turn awry if you don't keep it under control after she tears open each package. Arm yourself and/or another hostess with a large plastic garbage bag to use for throwing away the wrapping contents as soon as it falls off the gift. Remember to keep the ribbon adorning any of the gift packages for making the "rehearsal bouquet". This can be done by punching holes into a paper plate, and then pushing the different ribbon through the plate (creating a ribbon bouquet.) The bride will use the ribbon bouquet to carry during the ceremony rehearsal. A hostess sitting next to the bride can take care of making the ribbon bouquet.

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